Saturday, April 15, 2017

Movie Review: Kickboxer: Vengeance

This 2016 action movie turned out to be more fun that I anticipated.

The plot... who am I kidding, the plot doesn't matter. The plot holes were big enough to drive a mid-sized car through, but not a tractor trailer. There were a few surprises (after one training montage the hero goes to test his new skills and gets his butt kicked) but nothing great. 1.5 out of 5.

The action sequences were good but not great. No stuntwork to speak of (Tony Jaa can rest easy as king of stunts in the post-Jackie Chan era), but the hand to hand combat was pretty okay. Semi-realistic (sometimes one guy could take out 5 attackers, but nobody was throwing energy blasts or flying, so right in the middle of the realism spectrum as far as movies go). 3 black belts out of 5.

The acting was surprisingly lovely. A lot of work done by actual fighters and WWE people. Dave Bautista made a refreshingly charismatic villain (with very few speaking lines, but I was expecting cringeworthy cartoonishness and didn't get it). Alan Moussi was just fine as the protagonist. Sara Malakul Lane was super hot as the love interest and nothing more than that (nor was anything more required). George St. Pierre was much better as an actor, and funnier, than you'd think. I really liked Cain Velasquez' turn as a nameless thug - he's very high on my list of guys not to get into a real fight against. Jean Claude Van Damme (yes!) was fabulous, with having grown into a kind of self aware self-mockery that I can't get enough of. Now he seems like a guy I'd like to have a beer with. Gina Carano was fine, but had no action sequences to speak of, and as an actress she neither detracts nor adds to the film. Overall, 3.5 Oscars out of 5.

The cheesecake factor was low to mild, but the beefcake factor was large - lots of shirtless guys with sub-10% bodyfat running around. Almost no gratuitous female nudity, another surprise for me, coming from a low budget B-grade martial arts movie (that's not a complaint, I actually prefer my B-action movies to be nudity free, but that's a discussion for another time.

Overall, this movie wasn't good, but it was a lot better than I thought it would be. Overall rating: 3.5 Bud Light Limes out of 5.

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